Seventeen Forever

It’s been a while since I last wrote anything on my blog and since then, a lot of things happened. I started this blog by introducing myself as a 16 year old study bug, but now I’m nearing adulthood. In a few months, I’ll be 18 and somehow I’m panicking.

Life beyond adolescence isn’t probably as dreamy as I imagined it a decade ago. As you approach adulthood, your atmosphere starts to get crowded with the scent of cigarettes and the sensation of alcohol. Even at my age, even before I created this blog, I was somehow amidst an ocean of pubescent girls and boys who drank and smoked to get away from their insecurities. It wasn’t just in my school (note that most students lived in either the school dormitories or in flats close to the school) that I knew people who drank far too excessively. I had friends at home who had friends to drink with. At school, I knew a few who vaped – which is rather petty if you ask me but that’s beside the point anyway – but the case of smoking was much worse when I met up with some of my friends at home. It was suffocating to go home.

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Kind of reminds me of the bridge I pass to get to the city. The actual place is kind of unnerving for me though. This is an illustration of Enoshima.     NIKの江の島 

It’s rather frustrating when you see your peers resemble your parents after you’ve gone to bed. I’m here trying to hold onto my youth, maybe my innocence, but then I see everybody chasing after their problems and so I’m forced to grow up too. I’m forced to make problems of my own and face them head on. I’ll probably start smoking too, and then I’ll get addicted to the breather it offers. If I could be as blind as I was before, oblivious to how people destroyed themselves and wore their smiles just to fake the pain, I’d trap myself in that world forever.

 

These past eight months, too many things happened. I knew people who killed themselves, who sexually harassed others and who slept on a different couch each night. It’s a twisted world out there, and you realize it once you get a backstage pass to a concert we term life. I got one a long time ago, so even if I try to hold onto the child I was, she’s probably too immersed in the music to hear me out. She died a long time ago, and I just miss her right now.

Well, at least I got that out. There won’t be too many dark posts from here on out, I hope. I’m gonna buy a sports wristband.

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I imagine I look like this each night at my room, minus the cat since I don’t have one. Please gimme a cat. Thanks. PiNe(パイネ) の 青い午後

 

Music Bay 7/10/2017 :

  • Heavy by Birdtalker

  • The Anthem of Mr. Dark by The Arcadian Wild

  • All You Are by John Mark Nelson

I’d like to feature or maybe introduce a few songs every now and then. These would be under the heading Music Bay, as shown above. They’re songs that had caught my ear (?), and I just had to share them because I’d be happy if you guys took your time to listen to them and  support the artists. I’m rather partial to folk music, by the way, so I might share a whole lot of songs of that genre.

 

Or should I just place youtube videos? :>

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